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Is it wrong to put your career first and push getting into a relationship further later? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by zerozaku@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

31 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I don't get it. Everywhere I look there is this discussion about getting into a relationship, getting gfs/bfs and constantly chasing after it. And I'm not doing anything of it. I never paid attention to such stuff. During my teenage years, I thought it was normal attraction which people cave into and pursued such things. But now in my 20s, the same thing I observe, if not a little bit more than I used it. People getting sad because they are not finding someone. People being happy because they have one for themselves.

I'm not that career focused either. I just mind my own business. If it's studying or working, I just mind that. I do nothing like checking out girls in my school/workplace like my peers do. Maybe I'm just scared to pursue such things. I also think having a relationship is a huge headache too. Meeting them, making them happy, going out with them regularly. (I don't go out myself where will I take her to?). All of this while doing your daily stuff.

Am I wrong thinking to put career first before I get into relationships and stuff?

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[–] LucJenson@lemm.ee 1 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Solid clarification and expansion there.

For the sake of expanding on cultural/social differences in other places, here in South Korea, most folks i see on dating apps in their 30s are without kids.

It's in the 30s that most relationships turn serious and get married.

I know two people here who got married in their 20s and had kids. Even the one who got married in their early 20s is open about how she maybe rushed into it.

My time in Canada supports everything you've said, mind you. If I hadn't experienced life here in Korea for so many years, I'd probably wholeheartedly agree without realizing that without knowing where OP lives, it's hard to describe what their potential dating windows are.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 20 minutes ago

Ok yeah that tracks. I hear south korea is a particularly extreme case of that too. My assumptions that op wasn't from such a culture were largely bases around their comparing themselves to others in their culture doing differently from them