Asklemmy

now imagine having a girlfriend / boyfriends plus 3 little ones?

Luckily i dont yet that going on but i feel your pain sometimes. I tend to go to bed around 11pm and get up at 5am. Naturally without any alarms. So i have 2 hours in the morning, i tend to do smaller home duties and then after work, study for 1 hour (no more no less), eat and then chill on the couch. On the weekend, get all of your cleaning, errands do as soon as possible which will allow the rest of the day to hang out with friends, or whatever

My biggest advice that I wish more people would is to go to bed on Friday / Saturday / Sunday at the same time you would throughout the week. Dont extend your waking hours and be sluggish come Monday.

Also enjoy your life. It goes quick

That's the neat part, you don't.

So okay here is what you do.

You get up, go to work, spend all day there, go home, stay awake too long, sleep too little, do it 5 days then try to catch up on lost sleep in the weekend.

This way you will get as little out of all your free time as possible, and eventually get depressed and/or have a mental break.

Good luck!

Don't fret about it. It only lasts another 40 years or so.

i was on a similar situation recently, except boss wasnt so keen on curbing overtime (or paying us for it for that matter)

been working from home for almost 10 years, but in the post-pandemic world they refuse to let it happen now.

it gets easier to deal with as time goes on, but like, unionize. fuck giving our entire life to these leeches. also you don't need to work as hard as they demand you to. save yourself energy to do a bit of stuff for yourself.

The first week at any job is always exhausting. There's a lot to take in, and a lot of active decision-making to do. It gets better fast when a lot of small things start going on autopilot.

Long commutes add to the suck.

Once you fall into a routine it will get easier.

First week is tough because you're learning the job, plus learning the best ways to travel, where to buy stuff, etc.

I'm not sure how I will make room in my life for anything else.

That’s the neat part - you don’t!

Have you considered embracing homelessness? I wish i wasnt being serious but it is an option that if planned for instead of being forced into, is somewhat freeing. The van dweller community is growing extremely fast right now.

Try not to think too hard about how most of the evidence points to shorter work weeks being better on pretty much every metric.

Or that most of the "return to office" mandates are counter productive cruelty.

I think I saw an article that claimed most office workers in the UK do like 3 hours of work a day, and the rest is puttering and looking busy.

Our system is stupid and it's stuck stupid because of people. It's not physics. It's not biology. Like there's not much you can do to fix like humans need to eat and sleep, but the workday is just made up.

There's culture shock and then hopefully you settle into the idea that this is your life now.

Everybody’s working for the ~~weekend~~ oligarchs!

Great song

Imagine having children

And childcare eats 20%+ of your income

And your local government has made it illegal to terminate pregnancies

Nor will they support you after the baby is born

Grab your bootstraps youngin!

Personally, I find that if I work in a day, then I'm drained. One great thing I was able to do was find a job that has longer hours, because working 8 hours and working 12 feels the same to me, but now I get 2 extra days off. With 4 days off I can have a recovery day where I do nothing, a productive day where I catch up on life's demands, and 2 days to spend however I choose.

I don't. At least not anymore. I used to have a 40 hour, Monday through Friday job, but I had to find something else or I would've ended up having a breakdown. I'm autistic, and my life has been a series of periods of trying to be the person society wants me to be, failing, and then spending several years burnt out and unable to function before repeating the whole process. If I hadn't been able to live with one of my parents during those burnout periods I would've likely ended up homeless.

I've found that I simply cannot work 5 days a week. Even 40 hours over 4 work days will eventually burn me out. So I found a job that offers 12 hour shifts, and I work weekends. I pick up one or two shifts during the work week when they're available. I average 32 hours a week.

It's unarmed security, and it works for me, even though it doesn't pay well. I've just accepted that I will be poor, and my life is much better this way. Capitalism has brainwashed us into believing that money is more valuable than time, and there's something wrong with you if you can't match what is expected of you.

Nah man, it's 50 years of this and then you die

Others have offered fantastic advice, I'm not going to add anything from personal experience. I will share this link: https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/

Reading this isn't going to change your life, but I find it very helpful to reframe how you think about life. It deals more with the long term impact of having a full time job, outside of work in a way that worked for my brain. Hopefully you find it helpful but it's not a single solution.

Some of us never get used it it, because there's nothing normal about it.

I can't speak for everyone, because I fundamentally believe that the increases in productivity due to technology should have been applied to flexibility for the working public instead of pure profit for the capitalist owning class. But for me, sometimes I can't stand another MOMENT of my work shift, and other times I find myself lost in the work for 14 hours before I even realize it. It's purely a function of what you're working on and what it means to you. Or doesn't mean to you.

Im not joking here, working from 7am to 3pm feels sooo much shorter than working from 9am to 5pm. If you have the ability to decide your own work hours, then try to start earlier. Even starting at 8 instead of 9 is already a big difference in my experience.

When i was starting at 9-9:30 i always hovered around 0 in terms of overtime, now i switched to starting at ~7:30 and im easily racking up 4h of overtime per week, that i can then freely use to get off early from work on other days, and it doesnt feel like im pushing myself.

These working conditions are a privilege for sure so if you arent lucky enough to have that freedom just ignore what i said.

I have a kid who's just starting full time work out of college. I'll tell you what I told them: you'll get used to it. You will eventually settle into the habit and it becomes routine.

However, there will be tough times where you need to work hard to motivate yourself to go to work. Those happen.

What works for me during those times is the same that works for me exercising (which I hate): one step, one mile, one day at a time. Tell yourself it's just one more day to the weekend or to vacation. Have something to look forward to.

Burnout also happens. What works for me there, is to draw an absolutely strict line between work and life. You need to fight for your work/life balance. Maintain friendships outside the office.

When you're not working, try to do something not related at all to work. If that's working on improving your health, that's even better. A healthy body and healthy mind has more energy. Do literally anything except working or thinking about work. If you can't turn it off, practice setting boundaries until you can.

Finally, and this surprised me as I realized that all the stupid corny stuff we do in the office: luncheons, raffles, TGIF, "just another day in paradise", and that, are coping mechanisms. Play along, but don't get sucked into a negativity spiral. Humor can be a great stress reliever, but watch out for HR watchdogs.

Well, I enjoy my job, is a big part of it. But I also commute by bike, which gives we time to decompress and switch gears, pun intended, between work and home.

When last I changed jobs (going from full time in house software developer to a consultant working for a firm), and every time I've changed assignments since (same firm, most times same client but different teams), I've been absolutely knackered. It can even happen once you're back from a particularly long vacation.

Sometimes for a week, sometimes for up to a month.

It does pass though. You'll find you have more energy as you get settled. Remember, new people to relate to, new things to do (even if it is similar tasks as previously) does take up a lot of mental energy even if you don't feel like it does.

Cut yourself some slack, give your mind and body time to adjust for a few weeks. Remember to eat and drink right, and afford yourself some extra down time. In my experience you'll be acclimatised soon enough.

Congrats on your new job!

It does get easier as you adjust. I went from Uni Art classes, to full time Industry trade job at 55 hours a week. It feels like you have no time for you. You adjust to the me time being late evening or weekends only. A 4 day (40h) work week is a better life balance. A company I worked for out here started that after COVID

For me it was finding joy in work.

I, partly, became a manager to help others develop. I’ve been fortunate and worked for a few companies that believe the company can’t be at its best unless we’re training others to do our roles, train up mentality. I found that it’s a major kick to see someone succeed in something they never thought they could achieve.

I’ve helped a guy making decent money, make a lot more, raise his credit substantially, and fulfill the dream of owning a home. That’s something he never thought he’d be able to do. He was stuck in the mentality of born poor, die poor. He just needed someone to show him how our capitalist systems work and how to take advantage of that. Not only is he making more money but he’s happier and therefore more productive and does better quality work. No other sense of accomplishment has come close for me than directly affecting others lives. It’s really something.

And echoing what others’ have said, you do build endurance to the hours and grind the more you do it. I can basically work all day and not feel tired until I finally relax. I’m fortunate enough to have a job that has shorter days to balance the longer and I’m not stuck in an office all day (which I HATE). Not all jobs are office only / physical labor only. The great thing about COVID is that it forced remote work and a lot more flexibility in a lot of industries. I’m more of a hybrid work is best for me person.

It also helps to build a solid daily, weekly, monthly routine or “battle rhythm” as the military puts it. This helps break up the monotony of the days while keeping you on track to succeed. Consistency is the major thing that separates those that accomplish their goals and those that don’t.

Echoing "You get used to it." Right now, I feel like you're actively having to think of about everything: Getting up, what to wear, where to go, peoples' names, greetings, what you were doing when you left yesterday, etc., etc. Some of that will soon fall into the background. You won't have to expend as much mental energy on things. You'll just know people's name, you'll be in a routine, getting to work will be second nature, and what have you.

Nah, I'm done with 5 day work weeks. I get 3 days off and 4 days to work, that's perfect to me. When I had only two days off, I felt two days wasn't nearly enough. Now with three days off, I can take the third day to sleep it all away if I want and then I'll have two whole days to do with as I want.

hated that work culture so i left as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

went to teach ESL. half the hours for better pay

One of the major reasons I became self employed instead

You’re still in bed at ten, your work began at eight.

You’ve burnt your breakfast, so far, things are going great.

Your mother warned you there’d be days like these.

But she didn’t tell you when the world has brought you down to your kneeeeeees!

That

I’ll be there foooor yoooooooou!