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*puts in coins and pushes button for Crystal Bepis, gets diet root beer*
*puts in coins and pushes button for Bepis this time, somehow receive trail mix, not in bag*
*Accidentally put in too much money, return button doesn't work. Push any soda button, nothing happens. Next guy gets two sodas he actually pushed the button for.*
This feels like a borked version of SCP-294
It's not an SCP. It's just a...vending machine from 1985. That's how they all worked.
I once found a vending machine where I could pay for skittles, it wouldn't give them to me, I'd get a refund, then I'd pay for them again and get TWO SKITTLES. I keep that location to myself but it was a godsend.
ELI5 SCP
The SCP Foundation is a secret organization dedicated to securing, containing, and protecting various anomalous entities. The website is an archive of top secret documents including entries for each entity, called an SCP followed by a number, containing a practical name, detailed description, the effects of the anomaly, experiments performed, containment methods, pictures, etc. Objects can be anything, benign looking household items, monsters, seemingly normal humans, etc. There's nearly 5000 entries on the site. It's a pretty fun time sink if you're into short horror stories. Most of them only take a minute or two to read. There's also multiple games, most notably SCP Containment Breach and tons of spinoff material.
So it’s like deep fiction to the tune of the game Control?
Exactly, it literally says in Control's wiki, "inspired by paranormal stories about the fictional SCP Foundation." I didn't know the genre is now called "New Weird" though. I have some new authors to check out.
A creative writing project where the stories are all loosely based in a common universe where there is a secret organization protecting humanity from an evil force which manifests as a broad variety of different monsters.
Change must come from within.
One "end me," please
I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me. You know, when I left the house today I was thinking "Damn, I really hope some hot chick paints my brains all over some fucking hallway." And here we are.
I mean, really, just absolutely destroy me. I'm talkin' full on, watermelon in the thighs level carnage.
And I want it to scare the shit outta me. I mean I hope I piss myself. I hope I piss myself and you call me your little "peepee pisspiss boy." I want you to fuck me up. I mean I want you to make me your bitch. Your little peepee piss myself bitch.
I want it to get embarrassing. I mean like... weirdly embarrassing. Unsanitary, too. We should be entirely different people, by the end of the first eight hours.
Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? I mean, l'm a real freak. I'm not normal.
Ma'am... Please... You have to crush me.
Edit: Link
There’s a soda machine in seattle on the sidewalk of some random street not near any store, that someone stocks with random cans of whatever. Stuff I would have bet money doesn’t exist, sometimes. Never heard anyone mention it, but when I brought it up they were like “oh yeah that haunted vending machine.”
Allison Williams of Seattle Met also notes that the neighborhood of Capitol Hill now has a more corporate culture, and doubts whether the area is "still weird enough for a persistent enigma".
Gentrification strikes again.
Yeah I loved on capitol hill a dozen years ago and even then, all the hardcore hippies and weirdos were being wrung out of the neighborhood by developers and the bubble they bring. All of Seattle is totally different from 10, 20 years ago, which is totally different from 30, 40 years ago. None of it is for the better.
There is an itch.io game inspired by it! Hated by Mastercard and VISA for minor gore.
https://neuroticfly.itch.io/interdimensional-vending-machine
'was'
F
RIP 😭
I could go for a Crystal Bepis right now.
No Mingus Dew or Bebop Cola?
WELL HELLO, CONSUMER, YES, HELLO CONSUMER, BOP BOP BOP BOP BA DOP BAH BEBOP COLA, YEAH!
You bastard!
You k*lled Ben!
Oh, Ben! Oh!
...And your babies.
Oh, oh... They're hatching.
They're orphans...
Mungus Du is the superior yellow drink
They'll also never understand the pleasure of finding a dusty machine like this on a hot day after biking a long distance, putting in a quarter and being shocked when it works(!) and the sodas are ice cold.
I like that diet rite is the only one that's not a parody
Wow! Wikipedia says it was discontinued only in 2024.
That's actually pretty incredible. I don't think I've seen a can since 1997
The “pepe” being green is the tell
Shasta or get the fuck out.
🅱️asta
Agreed! I legit worked for SuperValu Corp back in the day for years on the soda desk and still would buy “off brands”! Shasta is still my jam to this day!! I am not trying to pay $10 for a damn pack of soda!
sepsis
i mean most of these are parodying the 2009 pepsi logo so idk
Dr Thirst
Fountain Mist
Family Cola
Green Thunder
Spruce Up
Fantuz
Penis cola
What's with the names? And the "end me"?
funy