What
this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2025
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Ask Lemmy
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theyre coming! what you got near you to kill one with and defend yourself?
AAAAAH! Now I get it.... I have electrical current and cables.... I'd cut them apart and try to light a fire.... Then I'd fail and try to strangulate THEM
THEY are your inner demons. you dont set yourself on fire, but do begin strangling yourself however they go quiet before you pass out. your mind is clear, you reached enlightenment. every time you close your eyes God sits before you on his throne and tells you that you are the first to truly reach enlightenment and are worthy of taking his seat...but do you?
I do!
There's a challenge thing for Project Zomboid that is literally this (and then some; you start with 1 tile. every kill permits you to move into 1 more tile) so if "they" are slow, shambling zombies i'd probably just use the same strats for that: Hope only 1 comes, knock it down, and stop its head. Then run like a mofo.
they are snakes. head stomping works. congrats you survive....for now
How tf does head stomping work if our feet are frozen in place? This game is rigged.
oh shit. youre right! death by snake bites
sudo kill THEY
Followed by a witchhunt for the person who has been messing the with airco, causing my feet to go cold.
you got em. but your airco was running linux too and it doesnt work coz you keep copy pasting code from github. your feet are no longer frozen in place, but you'll never feel your toes again.
I pause my RE4 game, rip out the battery out of my steam deck, disassemble my phone's battery, then when "they" come, i punture the batteries with a scizzor, throw the batteries at them, say "Hasta Luego" pretending it was a barrel of explosives. (and hope the batteries explode)
THEY were your hopes and dreams. looks like you finally cracked. the news did say videogames were bad for the kids, looks like they were right. you continue to live, but you were never happy again. death by your own user name.
the rain
they are fish, the rain has flooded the area and thats how they are coming. too bad you're feet are frozen in place. the water is rizing. i didnt stick around long enough to know if you survived.
Bad bot
you throw a robot at an actual human. you got em. youre alive but sad that you misjudged someones humanity. you will live with this for the rest of your life
Extra hard for me, because I lie in bed with Long Covid. But luckily there is an electrical outlet and a multitool right next to me. I strip one of my extension cords and can use it to electrocute them. Thanks to shoddy work the breaker won't flip.
The off hand is wielding the multitool. I just have to decide between the pliers for crowd control and the knife for extra lethality.
THEY are figments of your imagination due to the fever you are running. your mum comes in with chicken soup and sees you fighting imaginary demons. you survive, but your mum tells the story every christmas for the rest of your life.
With a bit of luck I can reach one of my swords. If not, bash in the first one's head with a skateboard or stab them with a pocket knife, then move a step and grab a sword. Maybe some armor if I can manage to get to the other room.
Edit: I tried it and could indeed reach a viking sword from where I'm sitting.
the swarm of radical yet safety conscious teacup piglets are wearing helmets. so the skateboard doesnt kill em. but the pocket knife is effectively a sword to them and they die by your hand. you survive and now have enough bacon until the next onslaught
You just want to make sure the meal you get from me via the other thread includes bacon, don't you?
😂 i need to make a new account. im too exposed. well its fresh if its not cured. no nitrates.
HEMA or SCA?
HEMA, though I haven't found much time to practice lately so it's becoming more of a sword collecting hobby.
I attempt to shatter my ceramic coffee mug and fashion a makeshift shank. I biff it, hit an artery, bleed out. I declare victory from beyond the veil on the grounds I prevented them from killing me
you are the ultimate winner...besides the guy that was able to displace god. he was pretty good too.
My best bet within arm's reach is a 25-pound dumbbell. I think I can make it work.
you make it work out, the monster is now buff but had a heart attack from the exertion. you survive.
i use my 27 inch monitor as a shield while using my logitech joystick as a cudgel. if needed, i use my steam deck as a throwing weapon and short the battery of my Vape to use it as a fragmentation grenade.
THEY are your twitch chat. youve been streaming to 0 people just waiting for 1 measely viewer. finally you get raided. you try to be open, but your hiding your authenticity behind your monitor. you start to get nervous as more viewers stream in. not knowing what to do you turn to gimmicks and try playing kingdom come 2 with a joystick. the chat is hype training. but its not enough for you. you decide youll make a clip that you can make a short from as marketing for future streams. you pretend to get angry and throw your steamdeck across the room hitting your vape that explodes. the clip is epic, but a twitch mod gets jelly of your success and bans your account. the chat is dead, your career as a streamer is dead. but at least your not vaping anymore.