Ask Lemmy

That’s pretty grim. I can think of some people I’ve met like this in real life, and they’re somewhere in between abused into submission, or have self esteem or other issues to the point where they can’t really live a life outside of their partner. It can be a sad and potentially dangerous situation to be in.

You dont care if someone lives or dies unless you know them?

I would help a stranger if they were in any kind of trouble because I would want them to be OK. Guess that answers your question.

As everyone else said, no, not normal, especially when you say "don't care about their children or their well-being." However, there ARE people who act like this. Who completely disappear into a relationship and ignore all else. I used to be kind of like that (not THAT extreme, but it became nearly all-consuming when I entered a relationship). If it's something you're dealing with, consider trying psychedelics and/or therapy.

No that's extremely not normal. I'd also heavily question someone like this. Mostly how they genuinely feel about their romantic partner. Typically a romantic partnership is built on a type of friendship. It sounds like the person doesn't understand platonic relationships. I'm extremely skeptical they would be able to have healthy romantic relationships without that understanding.

No it isn’t. It isn’t even possible unless romantic = nothing but sexual.

That is very not normal. Sounds like possible sociopathy with a fixation on the portrayal of love, but not the actual function of it. Or maybe some flavor of bpd, with the whole favorite person fixation thing. Either way, anyone who sees the world this way should probably talk to a professional about it because, if I'm being honest, this person sounds like they may be liable to do some heinous shit if things dont go their way. I can understand ones kids not being the most important thing in their life (depending on context ofc), but to outright not care about them? Something's way off.

No, that's narcissistic as far as I'm concerned.

No, it is not normal. It is actually deeply disturbing. Most people love and value their friends and family. Especially their offspring.

Just from personal experience, I was in a relationship like this once and found it absolutely intolerable for me.

I have many friends and I value them quite a bit. I also manage my time and emotions by spreading them out. I can't always talk about everything with everyone, nor can I always do the things with friends they want to do or spend all the time with them that they want. It's a delicate and complex web. It doesn't take a lot to manage, it's just simply, "This for you, here and now, while I can" and "This for you, here and then".

She on the other hand was co-dependent. Cut everyone else out of her life to wrap herself tightly around me and lean her entire emotional weight on me all the time. Any thought she had was run through me and any time she needed attention she'd come to me because she had nowhere else to turn. It literally broke me.

Maybe some people like this or can manage it better than I could, but be aware the toll this may take on your partner as well.

what if someone has friends but doesn’t value them or like them at all? They don’t dislike them, but they’re apathetic toward

Those are not friends, but acquaintances. Your friends are defined by you liking them, your enemies by you disliking them, and your acquaintances by you knowing but not caring about them. Having acquaintances is very normal. I always have many more of those than friends. Having no friends is abnormal, though. Without knowing your situation, I can't even speculate of reasons, but in my case the failure in turning an acquaintance into a friend was most often due to a lack of mutual interests we'd both be passionate about.

In almost all cases it's bizarre and concerning... but if you're the Grim Reaper maybe this natural emotional barrier could help you better fulfil your role!