Ask Lemmy

He would come to me on his own. He's the goodest of good boys and loves me infinitely. My only problem is that he loves people too much. "Hey that's another human who hasn't petted me!" But he always comes back and wags his tail because he's proud that everyone loves him the way that he loves everyone.

By "identical" I'm going to mean you want me to pick Izzy out of a lineup of 100 female grey cats.

Wait and see which one starts yelling at precisely 3:45 PM. That'll be my Izzy, that's her loudest meal time.

I honestly can't think of anything better than being in a room with 100 Boxer dogs.

At the end, the sofa and blanket would have to be huge to fit us all on it, though.

My cat can do tricks. So I’d just make him do them and take him back home

I taught my cat tricks. So it would be the one who would shake my hand for a treat. My cat also is a coward, so would check the wallflowers first.

I'll do the "Ku" pose from the movie Kindzaza a couple of times and the dog will come running to jump around me. For some reason, he loves it when I do that.

My cockatiel is the only one in this hypothetical flock that would scream my name, when any nearby human gets into an argument.

Kika: raise the palm of my hand threateningly, and start saying things like "nojenta" (disgusting), "jaguara" (sly), "cachaceira" (drunkard), "chata" (boring) etc. Most cats will go away. Kika will however come closer and turn her butt towards me, as if saying "slap it".

Siegfrieda: start speaking in German. No, seriously. She actually identifies when I'm speaking in Portuguese or in German, and if it's the later she immediately thinks it's something with her. Good luck finding 99 cats with a bent mouth and a protruding fang, though.

I would try to walk. That would instantly make our one cat sprint to my feet to get directly under and infront of them.

For the other cat saying “soft food” would work. She’ll come screaming and expect to be served. Lord help me if I don’t have food on me though.

My dog comes to click noises like a horse

If I say "it's here" she'll run towards any window to bark.

Completely heuristic and I would never be entirely sure I have the same one; however, like others have said I'd just have 100 pets. I wish I could afford that and have enough space for that.

I would call my cat and the one that walked up to me stopped a arms reach away would be mine.

With one of my dogs, I'll look for the dog that does exactly what I say when I say it. For the other, I will look for the dog that completely ignores everything I say.

Oh he would find me. Classic hide and seek

Each of my cats has a specific strange trait that I would look for.

I would first try to spray all dogs with a water hose.. all who play or chill are eliminated. Then I would bring them to a lake. Mine would be the first in the water.

My cat would be in a corner, or hiding under a sofa. It's feral, blind, deaf, and wary of everything and everyone. If it managed to recognise me, it would give a dismissive twitch of the tail and/or take a swipe at me.

One has obvious visible signs from a rough past, plus she makes unique Chewbacca sounds and hops like a kangaroo/faints like a goat when excited. The other would tackle me and not leave my side.

I do a simple tongue click twice and wait. My cats all understand what the 2 clicks means.

So I'm in a room with 100 cats, one of which pesters me for love and affection about a thousand times a day. I could just sit down and wait for her to come over and scream like she's in immense pain as she usually does. If that didn't work I'd clap my hands and look around. The room should look something like this

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳☺️😳😳😳 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

because she knows me and is used to me being noisy sometimes.

Easy - I wouldn't. Especially since it would just be an empty room.

I haven’t got any pets now, but for the last pet I had, it would’ve been easy. I mentioned in another comment on here recently that she used to attack/eat dandelions.

I could’ve held up a fluffy, white dandelion and waited to see which pup came over to chomp it.

I refer to my 2 dogs as "my children" all the time, to the point that when I'm calling them both in from outside, I throw open the door and shout "Children!" Or when they're being annoying, I'm like "Children, stop!"

So I would just have to shout the word "Children!" And they'd come to me.

I know his meow.

My cat would find me

i literally had a nightmare about this and it really stressed me out

@Balerion She responds to her heads-up noise. She also complains when I pick her up (even after she's asked to be picked up).

Put down their favorite box and start trying to pet cats. The one that slinks away rapidly to the box and gets bitey/swatty if you put your hands near is her :)

"Wet food?"

Sit down and try to eat a snack. The cat that ends up about 2 inches in front of my face purring while trying to steal my food and gnaw on my nose is mine

Just give them commands, that aren't their name. Both my cat and dog do an assortment of tricks and are very food motivated.

Vegetables that normal dogs don't like.

Yes. I have a unique whistle that she would immediately respond to.

How identical are we talking? Moles all the same place?

His soft little meows. I'd try to mimic his "Outside" button, and see which one comes running and beseeches me with the most pathetic whining. To confirm I'd pick him up and see if he makes a dramatic, offended meow.

I wouldn't want to but I'm guessing...smell their butts?

All cats.

If it was my old boy, omg I’d love to have 100 versions of him, but the test would be if I sat down, the cat immediately on my lap is probably him, but to be sure I’d bring in some random stranger and sit them down and see if the same cat goes to them immediately. He was the absolute friendliest cat on the face of the earth, even thought the mailman was there for him!

As for the girl I had at the same time, I’d put down wet food aplenty, and then put a pizza box in the very middle of the table with ham in it and see which one could, and wanted to, get it open. She fucking loved pork for whatever reason, and she was smart enough to understand that knocking a food box off the table would get it open very nicely. I lost a lot of leftovers to that bitch.

My current cats.. they would yell at me and disappear. So no idea. I’d probably put my quail cage in the room and see which ones don’t give a shit about the birds. That’s probably a good clue. Tho the fact that they would be fighting everyone would also be a good clue, that would not be a happy time. They can’t even stand small wildlife by the door..

I mean the one that follows me the most.

Do that little side-mouth click.

"chk chk" means food and they know it

edit: Cats are trainable AF with sound cues. Ever time I opened the front door I did a twee-twee-twee whistle with my teeth. It taught them that when they hear that sound, it's the opportunity to go out or come in. If I wanted to call them home I'd open the door and do the distinctive whistle, within 10 minutes they'd be hovering at the front looking to come in