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I am a coffee snob, will skip it unless it's good.
Wine, I don't like it enough to like bad wine so good wine or nothing, I am fine with just water.
Cheese puffs - I thought I didn't like them at all until I worked at the health food store, they had these white cheddar cheese puffs made of food, real cheese, corn, salt. Those are so good! I never, ever eat Cheetos they are gross, but those white cheddar puffs are good.
Carbonara.
I've been served this dish with peas, with onions and with cream.
I can forgive the bacon if it's really good bacon, as guanciale/pancetta can be hard to get here, but for gods sake don't ruin it with anything else.
I rarely order it when out because so many places just serve a generic dish with bacon and ham without mentioning it, and I am not being the snob that asks what they use.
ala zozzona is infinitely better IMO.
No more carbonara for me.
I eat vegetarian most of the time. On the few occasions I eat meat it has to be top tier. Anything from fish to poultry to meat has to be organic and handled with respect
Tomatoes for me, always trying to buy the more expensive/on the vine tomatoes to get more flavour, the basic ones are just too watery and flavourless for me.
Chocolate. I absolutely adore chocolate, but only good chocolate. I've sought out and nibbled on hundreds of different bars and blends. Anything under 70% dark just doesn't do it for me. I've melted down chocolate bars and mixed in baking chocolate and reset it so it would be darker.
Whitman's? Russel Stover? Hershey? Reeses? Miss me with that please.
If you get the chance to try a single origin Ecuadorian dark chocolate it's amazing, complex, fruity and floral. All of the pretentious stuff people describe about wine is genuinely there in chocolate.
As a Belgian I applaude this. Good chocolate is religion.
I like dark chocolate too but have a soft spot for chocolate whit a high percentage of cocoa butter.
I never eat chocolate like that but use it in patisserie and desserts.
For many top/Michelin recipes a high percentage of cocoa butter is better.
And some ask for milk chocolate.
All depends on the purpose.
As an American, our chocolate does indeed taste like vomit.
There's so many great American chocolates though, it's the cheap stuff that gives it such a bad reputation. Taza, Theo, Lake Champlain, Chocolove and lots of other little chocolatiers just doing their things but they just don't have the same kind of market presence.
Yeah, I was referring to things like mass produced chocolates.
Lobster, scallops and squid need to be cooked just right otherwise they tend to be rubbery.
I'll chime in with water.
There's so many different flavors of water. Just trying tap water in random places is such a different experience. Although I only specifically remember the worst. What the fuck was that bitter thing in Budapest.
As for mineral waters, I definitely go for Budiš in a glass bottle, chilled.
Amsterdam had the best tap water I've tasted of the places I've been.
Cheez-its. Generic brand cheese crackers just don't cut it.
Burgers, sandwiches, kebaps, etc. Stay away with your stupid sauces. I want to taste the ingredients, not the sauce. No, not even your super fancy handmade burger sauce. The stupid thing about sauces is that you can't even take them off when you don't like them. They're sticky and smooth and get everywhere.
I don't like sauces...
Give me this person's sauce.
I want more sauce, I hate how dry these usually are. As much as it fits. Inject that thing into the buns.
You would like tortas ahogadas --> drowned sandwiches
un lonche bien perrón
cheesecake. PLAIN CHEESECAKE ONLY. absolutely no bullshit on or in my cheesecake.
I'm lactose intolerant now too so if I'm gonna eat cheesecake it better be world class lol
I shouldn’t even have to say this, but graham cracker crust is an iron clad requirement. I bet a lot of you out there are reading this and thinking “well DUH”. I envy you.
I had a “cheesecake” that some idiot made in an ordinary pastry pie crust. Not enjoyable.
I would extend this to a proper thickness grade cracker crust. Miss me with that 1mm thick stuff that just gets wet and nasty. Give me that 5mm thick goodness thats just the right level of moist. Not dry, but not wet.
Ooh. VERY important detail. Good one!
This pumpkin cheesecake recipe uses gingersnaps instead of graham crackers... it might change your mind about acceptable crusts, but it isn't in the 'plain cheesecake' category because: pumpkin!
What type of cheesecake? NY (dense), Philadelphia (lighter), Japanese (hyper fluffy), or one of the Ricotta variations (possibly more authentic?)? There's a bunch of others that are less common outside their native countries, but these styles are at several places within an hour's drive, so I'm counting this list as the most common.
Nothing, really. If I'm picky about something, I usually just won't eat it.
I don't like skins on sausage or pulp in beverages.
Do you peel sausages or suck them dry?
Neither. I just eat them like normal.
Wait what...
Any kind of sandwich, burger, taco, hotdog, etc. that is too overstuffed to pick up and eat pisses me off. If its open face or whatever and you're eating it with a fork that's fine but if its not then I need to actually be able to eat it without food going everywhere when I pick it up. Giant burgers you can't pick up or fit in your mouth are especially stupid and I hate them.
Or ones with so much condiments, that everything slides around as you handle/bite it.
I see this from two different perspectives:
There are some ingredients I just don't like the taste of. But, in some recipes and if prepared properly, I'm fine with them. Green beans are an example. I don't like them. But creamy green bean casseroles are fine and vegetable soup with green beans is totally acceptable.
Then there are things like desserts that I'm picky about because if I'm going to screw up my metabolism and caloric intake for the day, it better damn well be worth it. I'm not going to waste my time on a substandard sugar and/or fat filled treat. I'm going to skip on that dry cake, jello salad, faux ice cream, fake chocolate sludge, etc.
I just don't like the taste of. But,
Don't give up yet. Once you find the right butt, you'll never want to taste anything else.
Coffee. I'm not a regular consumer as I don't find many modes that cater to my snobbery.
I only like the Italian, one sip ristretto. Very well made, thick and nutty. Unfortunately outside of Italy this is incredibly hard to come by.
So I basically never drink coffee. Without an expensive machine in not able to make it at home (I tried all ristretto options for Nespresso, but they don't cut it).
There's only a couple of coffee bars that I trust to serve me good coffee... It's infuriating as coffee culture is global, yet there's almost nowhere where my taste buds are satisfied.
You may like moka pot coffee. I'm a real coffee nut, been roasting my own for over a decade now. It's a real rabbit hole, and something you could almost certainly get into if you'd like, but only really worth it if you're looking for a new hobby. If you're not, probably best to keep it as a nice occasional treat.
I've tried moka pot coffee, but it's too acrid for me and lacks the leopard print crema layer from a good expresso (or I'm not good at it).
I've done barista courses and found out that what I like takes a expensive piston espresso maker and an intricately calibrated grinder.
And that's cool, I'm content to be a snob until I win the lottery (which is very unlikely as I don't play) luckily I'm not very dependent on caffeine intake.
I'm just a bit miffed that what I can get on every street corner in Italy is so rare where I live.
Understandable, moka pot coffee isn't my favorite, just thought it might be a serviceable budget friendly option. I've had decent cups out of mine by preheating the water before putting it in the bottom and putting an aeropress filter on top of the bed of coffee grounds.
Those piston machines are insane and the grinders are even more expensive. It may just be a thing that's best kept as a nice treat when you're in Italy then.
Yeah that's exactly how I approach it. I'll keep on trying stuff to see if it works for me (Croatia does coffee quite decently, I think the proximity to Italy has effect).
But I'm not too disappointed, like I said I'm not an habitual caffeine consumer.
But it's good to explore the extent of my snobbery, how rare it is to have a cup that really satisfies me is quite important to realize.
Thanks for the suggestions! It's great that you took the time to think along with me. I'll raise my glass of sparkling water to you! (my own habitual daily drink I have trouble doing without)
Icecream — I can't have a lot, so I only have it when I know it's highest quality.
Pizza. I came to realize when I first started traveling that being from Connecticut and having easy access to extremely good New Haven, Greek, and New York style pizza is a luxury. It's my favorite food. Whenever I travel, I make sure to try the area's so-called "best" pizza for at least one of my meals. It is seriously pathetic what some regions consider good pizza.
Agreed. Truly nailing a specific style of pizza can be tricky, but overall it's not hard to make really good pizza. It seems like so many places just don't even try. Dishonorable mention to Texas, who otherwise produces really good food.
Mollusks and crustaceans. I can eat fish, in any dish, that's perfectly fine.
Sushi/nigiri.
I do not screw around with low quality or bad meats, especially fish meat. I had enough fresh fish when I lived in Japan to know what it's supposed to look and smell like, and if the nigiri I'm served smells any bit off I'm simply not eating it.
If your fish smells like fish, it's gone bad. Most types of fish if properly preserved should smell somewhat like clean seawater, with some variation by species
Edit: Also, if the rice looks dry or doesn't adhere properly, I assume the kitchen has no idea what they're doing and won't eat it
Bagels. They MUST be toasted and topped with butter ONLY. It’s not that I don’t like cream cheese, it’s that I vastly prefer the taste of butter.
Of course, this all gets thrown out the window if we’re talking about some kind of bagel sandwich. Then whatever I like gets thrown on that thing, and toasting is optional.
I'm the opposite. Bagels shouldn't be toasted and definitely not used for a sandwich. Even breakfast sandwiches. Cream cheese or butter, maybe some lox, but an egg and cheese should go on a roll or the severely underrated English muffin. Gets in the way of a good bagel
I have unreasonable high standards for Mexican foods and their derivatives (TexMex, CaliMex, Burritos de Gringos, Jalisco, etc.)
