Ask Lemmy

My first long term relationship was with a woman who could orgasm from penetration in less than a minute.

Oh plenty of things:

having respect for others

being honest

helping the needy

fair pay for fair work

honestly considering others' perspectives

loyalty

Basically every virtue I was ever told was worthy to embody has been used against me as a weapon or a tool

And of the hundreds of people I know IRL less than 10% give any of these internal value or even attempted to put into practice

And here I've been a sucker all my life doing the proper social contract thing because I don't like the way the world is shaping up and getting CONSTANTLY bent over for it

Having a constant noise in your head/ears. It was so normal to me I didnt question it for many years. I randomly asked my friends about it one day and found out most people actually dont have an old crt tv like noise in their ears (and that its the disorder tinnitus).

In my case its not very severe thankfully, I dont notice it unless Im in a silent room or Im actively thinking about it.

Also: aphantasia

You have no idea how pissed I was to find out all of you had a fucking superpower, would have been nice to learn this before I wasted 3 years at graphic design

Reading.

Or rather, how so many people seem fear and avoid it, or can't do it. Something like 21% of adults in the US are illiterate, and the majority -- 54% -- read at or below a 6th grade level.

I've been a sight reader probably since I was about six years old. I absolutely cannot look at any words legibly written in my native language and not understand them. You couldn't force me to look at words written in English and not digest them if you held a gun to my head. I fear no wall of text, no matter how tall it is.

It takes some effort to wrap your head around the notion that not only can most people not do this, but statistically speaking most or at least a plurality of people have to struggle or exert conscious effort to read and many of them are loathe to do so. And roughly one in five people simply can't. This did not sink in for me when I was younger.

I can't imagine having to live my life that way. You nerds have seen how much bullshit I write in a day; I'd go absolutely bats.

Having basic empathy for other living beings, actually make it through hard work alone. Having enough time for a hobby.

Physical abuse as a child.

Child abuse. I thought it was normal to threaten children with violence for noncompliance. I thought it was normal to be afraid to misbehave or be suboptimal in school at the threat of violence.

When I was much younger: that normal people could see much further than me.

One of my oldest memories is going into a McDonald's for the first time with glasses; I stopped and read the entire menu, because I couldn't believe normal people could read it as soon as you walked in. I always had to get up to the counter to make it out.

I got a lot better in school after that!

Excessive alcohol consumption

Nobody "dresscoded" me at home. As soon as I was old enough to pick my own clothing, I could. What skirts or jeans or dresses I wore was my choice completely. My school also didn't care much.

Blew my mind when I realized how many other girls had to sneak out with their clothes because the parents had a rule against tight jeans or whatever.

I still think my parents were right with this one. The kids with the strictest rules were always those with the craziest outfits. Can't blame them, I'd have done the same.

Rationality

My family was super meat-centric for all holidays except Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Any meal where it's physically possible to barbecue, we would. And a family barbecue meant hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken, pork steaks, and beef steaks -- one of each per person, plus a couple of extras. Sides were German-style slaw and potato salad. Buns were not included, but my grandma would always put a stack of white bread on the table (she was the only person who ever ate it).

When I started dating my husband and took him to a family holiday, he was shocked by the fact that my whole family was eating hamburgers and hot dogs with flatware instead of on buns. And he was actually sad at the lack of side dishes.

When I went to one of his family barbecues, I was sad that there was just one hamburger per person (already on a soggy bun) and a ton of weird casseroles.

Limited joint range. I just thought that's as far as they went. It still freaks me out slightly when I see people using a normal range, as if they'd just turned their heads through 360° or bent their knees the wrong way.

Standing to wipe your ass

Struggling not to act on my impulses all the time, doing foolish things before thinking and not being able to go more than a brief period without embarrassing myself. I thought everyone dealt with impulse control issues. Oh hey Adhd, nice to see you.

This was a really recent realization for me. I am one of the people who can voluntarily activate the tensor tympani muscles in my ears to create a low level rumbling sound. I recently tried explaining this to someone else and they still think I am making it up.