Time to get some lube, plugs, and dildos and get into anal
this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2025
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While I’m sure I’d have ambitious ideas, mostly no
- no shoes
- no thinking, planning or scheduling
- no bed time
- no pants
But a few more
- more garlic
- more spice
- more meals she would never eat.
- and a key lime pie, dammit
My wife’s a meal planner, I’m more of a ‘whatever’s in the house’ type of cook. Just throw random shit together if it even sounds close to good. So I’d probably just do lots of stir-fries of all the random ingredients for planned meals that didn’t happen but still live in our freezer.
She’d return to what appears to be freezer that I cleaned out, and I will have put next to no thought into cooking.
Shit with the door open
Nothing else changes
Corncakes whenever I remember that I have a stomach!
I would do absolutely nothing differently, except I would have trouble falling asleep.
I'm an introvert, and I chose my husband specifically because being alone with him feels just as good as being alone.
...Well, most of the time. (He does get on my nerves occasionally.)
Catch up on video games, reading, and maybe some shows they don't care for.
Completely reorganize the kitchen, including cutlery drawers, appliances, and so on. Clean out the fridge and freezer, wiping down the walls and shelves. Organize and rotate all jars, cans, and boxes of food forward, like you'd see in a grocery store. Do this to the pantry as well. Top to bottom kitchen cleaning: sweep, mop, wipe down all surfaces.
Then, as a reward, I'll slap my dragon dildo on the kitchen island and have my way with it while watching yuri on my Samsung fridge, covering myself in whipped cream and fruit syrups, losing myself multiple times right before I finally serve myself dessert. Yum.
I was going to put something different, but id like to change my answer. This is the correct one.
Lots of garlic in the food
Based on experience: play video games for too long instead of eating, watch movies they don’t normally enjoy, and forget to go to sleep at a reasonable time.
A dog or a cat may help with the last one. They will let you stay up too late, but they won't let you sleep in.
Oh dear lord. My 5 year old shiba has been deciding by that 4am is suddenly an appropriate time to ask to go to the bathroom when I even limit water after a certain point at night. This just started recently. She used to go until 5:30 or so and still sometimes does. It seems random, so I don’t think it’s a UTI or anything.
My girls are both 8, but they don't have a specific time. They just go by the sun coming up, lol.
My dog is a 13 years old couch potato. He gets angry when I try to get him outside while its still dark :D
Fucked up sleep pattern for the win.
This
Eat at arbitrary times when I'm hungry, and eat lots of spicy food. Smoke weed and play computer games. Feel a bit lonely.
That sounds wonderful, even the lonely part. I feel we don't appreciate the valance that some time alone can bring since we are social (ish) animals.
It's hugely valuable. I love my partner deeply, but I often fall into a trap of imagining that life was simpler an dmore fun when I didn't have to care about another person's needs and could just be the goblin inside. But when I actually get the chance, the novelty wears off pretty quick and I'm so happy when they're back.
+1
Cook food that he doesn't like
I can eat the stuff that literally kills him. At home. Without worry!
Vacuum under my bed in the middle of the night. That's what passes as excitement for me.
Not mushrooms, again.
Before my partner left for a work trip he showed me his stash of mushrooms in the freezer.
I wasn't big into mushrooms since my first and only trip to that date, where I spent five hours wide awake in my room, believing my curtains, lamp and bedspread were going to dismember me and absorb my nutrients (my curtains were an amoeba.) But my boyfriend made a pretty good case for blending up a microdose fruit smoothie and chilling while he was away. He told me there were different kinds of shrooms, that I needed to measure the dose and just create a chill vibe.
Day one, I didn't even think about the freezer stash. By day three I was so bored and alone I figured, what the hell?
Anyway, he came home to an impressive blanket fort in the living room and a box of farraday mesh fabric I bought to stop the robots because I watched Ex Machina.
I'd diagnose this response as 10% the effect of mushrooms and 90% the effect of watching Ex Machina alone. I walked out of my room at 1am shell shocked from that movie and had a quick conversation with my roommate in the kitchen that i remember nothing about except how reassured i felt that she wasn't a robot. Excellent movie.
Sounds like I picked the wrong movie to watch on shrooms. Or... the right one.
Watching Splice on ecstacy was worse.
Lots of porn I assume
Play video games, watch movies they don't like and invite friends over for game night or cocktails mixing and hookah!
Go to that restaurant she hates. Turn the thermostat down. A bunch of carpentry and other home-improvement.
I ain't wearing any pants.
They're asking what you would do differently
I have not yet had a relationship where my SO didn't force me to wear pants around my own house. 😭
You're making me glad I'm single. Home is where the nekid is. Anything else is criminal. If I'm wearing pants at home it's either because I'm waiting on a delivery or cooking bacon.
That's criminal, you need to demand leg freedom
Go to bed on time finally
Humblebrag
Nah. She is a night-owl and always stays up for hours later than myself. Which makes it really hard to get up from the couch and go to bed for me in turn.
Find out how many times I can hammer one off before it starts to hurt.
Would invite my best friend for a sleepover, and we’d watch movies or a series together that he would never watch with me.
sleep till 10am every day.
def having music on 24/7
Listen to music I was into in my teens & twenties and sing out loud. Cook grub. Clean the flat. Read books on couch and go to sleep early. Probably start a project that will be left unfinished on the table. Enjoy the peace & quiet. Then walk around talking to myself and get annoyed for being lonely and bored.
Definitely binge gaming.
Eat bad-for-me food, hang out more with my "nerd friends", crank the music in the car, watch a movie that I like but they wouldn't.
Assuming twin went with partner to make the house truly empty, I'd be calling both of them each day, and otherwise dancing with the cat. She's nervous so less people maybe she'd let me affectionate her more.
Watch a horror movie
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